66. Resolved, that I will endeavor always to keep a benign aspect, and air of acting and speaking in all places, and in all companies, except it should so happen that duty requires otherwise.

Commentary

That word benign is significant in our resolution today. The word is derived from the Latin root bene which means well and gignere which means 'to begat'. The word means "of a mild character that does not threaten health or life"(1). We see that word used appropriately when one receives the good news that their cancer is benign. But the word also means "of a gentle disposition"(2). To be benign is to be gentle and safe. Edwards resolved to be gentle and safe in his relationships with other people. This is certainly a noble resolution. In my relationship with my wife and children, I want to be a man who is marked by redemptive, gospel gentleness, and safety. I want to be approachable. I want to be a confidant. And I want to be those things and do those things ultimately because I want my family to flourish spiritually in Christ.

Now, Edwards added a qualifier here: 'except it should so happen that duty requires otherwise'. Are there times when 'gentle and safe' is not appropriate? It seems that Edwards thought so. But what does the Bible say? I think the Apostle Paul gives us insight into this:

8 For though I made you sorry with a letter, I do not repent, though I did repent: for I perceive that the same epistle hath made you sorry, though it were but for a season. 9 Now I rejoice, not that ye were made sorry, but that ye sorrowed to repentance: for ye were made sorry after a godly manner, that ye might receive damage by us in nothing. 10 For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death. (2 Corinthians 7:8-10)

In this passage, the Apostle Paul speaks to a letter (a sharp one) in which he rebuked the Corinthian church. This letter would perhaps not be considered gentle and nor was it safe- it had demands- very public ones. And it seems that 'gentle and safe' may have been the unloving thing to do for the church of Corinth at the time.

Paul needed to wound those at Corinth. However, that wasn't the goal just as the goal of a surgeon isn't to just cut a patient open. A surgeon must wound a patient to remove a harmful (non-benign) cancer. Often times what is in the soul of man is not benign. It is insidious and soul-damning. Therefore something other than a benign character is required.

Paul wounded the church he loved to drive (by God's grace) the church he loved to express godly grief that would lead to repentance that would lead to reconciliation with God and man through Jesus Christ. May we be discerning in our relationships with others. May we wound (as minimally as possible) when needed and may we be lavish in our gentleness every other time.