A Brief Word to Fathers: Federal Headship
I'd like to write a brief word to us, Fathers and I want to introduce the theological phrase, federal headship. According to Romans 5:12-21 (please read), the entire human race is represented by two Adams. The first Adam was the first man (see Genesis 2:7-25). When he sinned (Genesis 3), the entire human race sinned in him. He represented us all. Through the first Adam came sin and death (both physical and spiritual). So the reason there is suffering, the reason you struggle with your particular sins (I'll discuss original sin vs actual sin in a later article) finds its origin in the garden, at the fall with the first Adam.
Thankfully there is a second Adam, Jesus Christ. Jesus as the second Adam redeemed the actions of the first Adam. Just as the first Adam's disobedience was credited to the entire human race, so the second Adam's obedience is credited to those who are captured by the gospel. Those in Christ are represented by Him and He is a great federal head. Christ is the head of His church. He has redeemed us from our sin and he is reversing the curse of the first Adam. Jesus is making all things new.
So, those in Christ, stand before God, represented by Jesus. What Jesus does, we get the credit for. This is our loving God's gift to us (John 3:16; Galatians 2:20). Jesus is our federal head.
Now, interestingly the Bible commands Husbands and consequently Fathers to represent this type of headship in the home.
 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,  that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,  so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. (ESV)
According to Paul, men are to be the federal head of the home. And as the federal head, God will hold them accountable for the quality of their love (25), sacrificial service (25), the promotion of godliness (26), and the faithful heralding of the gospel (27). This starts with the husband and wife relationship and trickles down to the children (see Ephesians 6).
Men, there is no question, you are the federal head of your home. The question is, are you honoring the Lord as the head of the home, or are you shirking your God-assigned responsibility?
Think of it this way, when you indulge your sinful desires, this is not isolated. The sin(s) you commit are both personal and corporate. They are personal in that you will be held accountable for them. They are corporate because you are the federal head of your home and you set the spiritual heat or coolness by your obedience/disobedience.
Let me make it very tangible for us. Men, if we look at pornography, it is our sin- yes. However, as the federal head, we are spiritually inviting our wife and children to look at pornography with us and we will be held accountable for that. Your sin is not isolated. There is a real ripple effect in your home, bigger than you can imagine. Thank God for Jesus, the second Adam. Thank God for the Holy Spirit that lives in Christian Husbands/Fathers. We need Jesus so that we can be a reflection of Jesus in our homes.
So, here are a few practical suggestions to help you get starting on creating a Christ-focused culture in your home:
spend consistent time with the Lord; Bible reading & prayer.
spend time praying and or reading with your wife.
start doing family devotions. If you don't do them at all now, don't aim to do it every day- begin doing it twice a week- 10 minutes at a time.
serve your wife by washing the dishes.
serve your wife by watching the kids and letting her go cultivate godly relationships with women.
turn your cell-phone off and be present.
ask your wife about her day and listen.